It’s here! The time of year when my expectations go into overdrive. It’s the holidays, after all. And I suddenly want it ALL.
There are going to be waaaay more presents than that. At least in my perfect Christmas scene.
I want my kids to have an amazing Christmas, the sort that childhood dreams are made of, with presents piled under the tree and a magical Christmas morning complete with fresh baked cinnamon buns and steaming hot cocoa and the sound of sleigh bells.
I want said Christmas to not break the bank.
I want someone else (not me) to don our house with twinkly lights that are pretty and warm and always turned on at the appropriate times.
When I drink hot cocoa, this is what it’s going to look like. Pine cone, powdered sugar and all.
I want cozy family evenings filled with snuggles and movies. And ideally a fireplace (it wouldn’t be too late to find a contractor, right?).
I want perfection.
And then I remember. There’s nothing about me that’s perfect. There’s nothing about our lives, our bank accounts, our schedules that is perfect. This little niggly “goal” in my mind, one that’s likely fueled by advertisements and holiday movies, is totally, completely unreachable. In fact, it has its own sinister side.
Because The more I strive for perfection, the less I enjoy it all.
And on this eve of launching my first book (Crow Flight is officially out tomorrow!! Thank you, thank you to all of you incredible launch team members and friends for cheering me on through the process!), I need to apply this lesson to my book launch.
Because of course, my wild imagination can get the best of me, and lead me straight to… Best Seller Lists! Morning Show Interviews! Book Sales by the Truckload!
And if that’s what I expect, most likely, I’ll be disappointed.
But do you know what? Right here, right now, I’m going to reframe my expectations. This launch has been (and will continue to be) a great learning experience - it is my first one. I’m proud of the book and the work that went into writing and rewriting and rewriting some more.
And after all… it is a BOOK! There are many, many amazing books out there that don’t make it to this point.
So tomorrow morning, when that “Buy Now” button turns orange on Amazon, I’m not going to be frantically watching sales numbers. I’m going to crack open my very own FINAL copy of Crow Flight and skim through its pages. I might just walk around town, carrying the book in my shoulder bag (because it’s just fun to do that). And you know I’ll be at our local bookstore, buying the very first copy they sell.
I can make popcorn. And Swiss Miss. And that fire in the background may just be on TV.
The same goes for our Christmas. Less striving, more enjoying. And I’m going to remind myself to feel grateful through all of it. Because if I plan on perfection, I end up feeling not enough. But if I practice gratitude, I feel full to the brim.